The Gangster We Are All Looking For (2003)

美國的亞裔文學，特別是東亞與東南亞部分，有幾個共同母題。他們的小說題材，大體不脫親子兩代同時也是移民文化差異、個人主義式的生活追求、飲食文化、性別認同與情慾解放，還有戰爭。華裔與日韓等三大族群的文學作品中，中日戰爭太平洋戰爭與韓戰乃至文革的顛沛流離那就不用說了；東南亞族裔的文學，從菲律賓到越南柬埔寨，也是深深被戰爭經歷/記憶的創痕烙印在一個又一個的故事中。對亞裔移民來說，戰爭是陰魂不散的餓鬼，不斷啃噬他們的靈魂與希望，以至於關於戰爭的記憶始終是他們的文學印記之一。

這本我最近在讀的lê thi diem thúy自傳體小說也是以後越戰時期為背景、越南移民為主人翁的作品。其中有這麼一段是主角小女孩描述她母親對戰爭的想法，既迷人又殘酷，兩種意象交織在一起，讓人不由得對這段充滿絕望的淒文字咀嚼再三。這本從各種角度看來都像是打碎的玻璃一般的小說，我讀來並沒有特別強烈的感受，偏偏對這一小段文字的魔幻般的獨特意象著迷。從作者通篇淺白的文風來看，寫出這段文字的當下，對她來說應該也是靈感湧現的魔幻時刻吧。

"Ma says war is a bird with a broken wing flying over the countryside, trailing blood and burying crops in sorrow. If something grows in spite of this, it is both a curse and a miracle. When I was born, she cried to know that it was war I was breathing in, and she could never shake it out of me. Ma says war makes it dangerous to breathe, though she knows you die if you don’t. She says she could have thrown me against the wall, until I broke or coughed up this war that is killing us all. She could have stomped on it in the dark, and danced on it like a madwoman dancing on gravestones. She could have ground it down to powder and spat on it, but didn’t I know? War has no beginning and no end. It crosses oceans like a splintered boat filled with people singing a sad song." (p. 87)

*這裡奉上的是精裝本封面，鄉親可以和平裝本封面兩相對照，兩個我都非常喜歡。